


Haven't We Been Here Before?

by annabeth



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: ALL THE ANGST, Angst, Cheating, Infidelity, Jjbek, M/M, Mentions of Otayuri, Otabek is a sociopath, Smut, mentions of JJBella
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-11 03:26:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12926319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annabeth/pseuds/annabeth
Summary: JJ and Otabek have been engaging in a secret affair for years. What happens now?





	Haven't We Been Here Before?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Blownwish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blownwish/gifts).



> Written for [Blownwish](http://archiveofourown.org/users/blownwish), who wanted JJBek angsty beef stew. :P She was having a bad day and I'm taking prompts, so here it is!

"We have to stop before your wife finds out," Otabek says, just before he finds another bit of unmarked skin and sucks a love bite into being. JJ has been begging Izzy to be rough—"so rough, baby, c'mon, like that, baby, yeah"—so that it will hide these marks and bruises. So it will varnish over the welts left behind by blunter, more rounded nails.

"She'll never figure it out," JJ says, twisting and flipping them so Otabek is sprawled on his back. "Besides, she's too busy with the baby." He doesn't tell Otabek that he's still fucking her. He hasn't told him yet that she's pregnant again.

"Jean—" Otabek starts to say something, but JJ cuts him off by gripping his dick, twisting his wrist, making Otabek groan and arch.

"Besides, what about Plisetsky?" JJ asks; he knows it's cruel, but he can't help it. Otabek has never been truly _his_ ; even when they were teenagers training together, Otabek had his unhealthy obsession with Plisetsky and no, he never loved JJ. JJ's not sure he loves him now—this might all just be for the dark thrill it gives them. At least JJ knows there's something dark and molten at the heart of this affair, something that makes his dick twitch inside his wife.

The woman he married as a virgin—the woman who was never able to rouse him, not once his wedding night happened and he had to imagine Otabek in the showers to get hard for her. Now the only reason he fucks her _is_ to hide this secret, like an apple with a rotten core, that looks so sweet on the outside.

But JJ has no illusions about Plisetsky. When Otabek won his friendship in Barcelona, it had felt like the end. He'd heard them, on the other side of his hotel room wall, shaking the bed, making the wall tremble by his headboard. He knew they'd fucked, and that both of them had enjoyed it.

Only JJ knows the whole truth: that Otabek doesn't "love" Plisetsky, either. He doesn't think Otabek is capable of loving anyone. But Plisetsky never seems to see the invisible leash, the tightly controlled jealousy, the way that Otabek will show him off: wearing a collar necklace at his throat, diamonds and emeralds, a gift for their first anniversary. But Yuri sees it only as a necklace; JJ knows it's proof of Otabek's ownership—and he hates himself, because he fucking _wants_ , he wants to be the person Otabek owns, to wear his collar; he wants to to be the person Otabek _wants_ to own.

Otabek jams his cock farther into the circle of JJ's fist and JJ is reminded of where he is.

"Yuri is at home with the cats," Otabek says, far too calmly for someone who's getting his dick stroked. JJ doesn't know if Otabek even enjoys their trysts. He comes, he makes JJ come, they both go home.

"Are you sure?" JJ asks, and lifts up. His hole is still loose and dripping come, so it's easy enough to slide back down on that dick and start rocking his body back and forth. "Someday he's gonna leave the house to watch you DJ and he's gonna find out you quit. That you're not there."

"Yuri would never do that," Otabek says. "He knows his limits."

This is double-speak for Yuri's been well-trained into not even thinking for himself whether he's being controlled. Fuck it, what does JJ care?

JJ is in love with Otabek Altin and he has been for years and years—since he was sixteen years old. JJ is in love with Otabek Altin and he knows, better than he knows anything else, that Otabek will never love him back.

So he contents himself with chasing his orgasm, with trying to make Otabek feel good so Otabek won't go away, with trying to fool them both into believing there's more here than there is.

"Maybe I'll just tell your wife," Otabek remarks as he bucks his hips to thrust deeper inside JJ, who moans with the movement, eyes rolling back a little. He hears the words, but Otabek's hand is on his cock, stroking just the way he likes it, and his dick is inside JJ and it feels so hot and long and hard and—

His orgasm is more like stepping in front of a bus. It's good but it obliterates everything, making JJ forget that Otabek is still lucid enough for conversation. As he slips from Otabek's cock, as he falls to the bed, he can hear Otabek murmuring.

He's on the phone.

"I'll be home soon, kitten," he's saying. His cock is still wet from his orgasm and he's calling Plisetsky?

Yeah, JJ always knew that Otabek would be his heartbreak.

"Hey, wake up," says a familiar voice, nudging him with a toe. "I'm serious, Jean. We need to stop doing this."

"Why?" mumbles JJ, trying to find the cotton of sleep again. It was nice there; cozy, warm, and Otabek loved him in his dreams.

"Because Yuri and I are getting married," Otabek says, "and I don't want to cheat on my husband. Or maybe it's simpler than that: I just don't want to fuck you anymore."

So the future stretches before JJ, imprinted on the backs of his eyelids: years and years of nights with Izzy, remembering Otabek to get hard, thinking of Otabek to get off, and losing Otabek, the content of every single nightmare till he finally shuffles off this mortal coil.

"That's a lie," JJ says, but he can feel Otabek's eyes on him, cold, like he's watching a nature documentary rather than breaking off a years-long affair. Like JJ isn't even human to him anymore.

Otabek kisses him. It's soft, sweet. Like honeyed apples bursting on his tongue. Like Christmas coming early. Like the birth of all three of his sons. Yeah. It's a pretty lie, a fantasy that will never sustain him.

He can practically hear Otabek shrug.

"Suit yourself," he says. "You were only ever a means to an end, anyway. Tell your pregnant wife hello."

JJ doesn't know what's more disturbing: that Otabek wants him to tell Izzy—or that he apparently knows she's pregnant somehow. How did he find out? But then the footsteps are receding, and all JJ knows is he doesn't care, he just doesn't want Otabek to leave.

JJ doesn't let the tears come until the door closes. It doesn't slam shut; no, it's a near-silent click like the closing of a coffin before being interred in the ground.

He supposes no one _likes_ being buried alive. He opens his eyes. His phone is lying right by his face, and he knows, without having to check, that all of Otabek's contact info is gone.

It's really over. Every bruise and bite mark and welt will fade, but nothing will ever heal the tomahawk-sized slash across his heart.

end.

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on [Tumblr](http://helm-puppet-trash.tumblr.com)!


End file.
